Pottery Barn

Oh.My.God.

Has everyone seen this???

It's bad-a**, yes, but at $1358.00 (set plus island) I think it costs more than the kitchen I am supplied with in my apartment.

Since when did "pretend kitchens" start looking so realistic? Isn't imagination the key component in playing house? I'm pretty sure I just had a box with an easy-bake oven inside...

Visit the South

For those of you who haven't ever traveled South of the Tri-State, I recommend a 4-day weekend in the Southern States.If you can get past the scary crosses that say "Blood Secured Redemption" you will find a whole new world awaits you.

A world of hospitality and friendliness, of greenery and winding roads, ofinterstate shoulderspeppered with wildflowers, of down-home cookin' and cheap local crafts, of history and hauntings, of pride and family values...

The South has a special place in my heart and my history.

My Mom, Viking by heritage, was born and raised in the South so much of my upbringing was infused with Southern traditions.

If you'd like some ideas of where to go, email me...because us Southerners don't get out much ;) and most of my traveling while I lived in FL was to Southern States and coastal towns.

Personal Space Issues

It's true -- I need my personal space.

No, I am not referring to the area around me personally...just the actual storage space *or lack thereof* in our apartment.

I know what you are thinking -- either "Amen Sista" or "Stop complaining because my sister's friend lives in the city in a 600 sq ft studio with her husband, toddler, baby, and dog and they manage just fine."

And while I'd like to say "Wow, impressive," all that comes to mind is, "What is wrong with those people??"

Seriously.

We are barely scratching the surface of 1100 sq ft ourselves...and there's an extra 75 sq ft included for our ridiculously long hallway entrance that shouldn't count as living space.

Not to mention there are only 4 closets in the house, none of which are linen closets and none are actually big enough to walk into.

We accumulate so much with Hunter, too...more so than I thought possible...the place is never clean & organized looking anymore -- I just move toys and gyms and playmats from one part of the home to another to free up space and appear uncluttered...and it's starting to look like a storage unit will be our only salvation.

My issue is they are so overpriced and by the end of the year or two you've spent more on the storage than what the contents are actually worth...b/c if you could live withou

t it in your home for 2 years, chances are you could live without it forever.

The reason I am ranting is because on our weekend getaway this past weekend, I was reminded of how CHEAP land is elsewhere.

Devastatingly and painfully cheap.

Take this house, for example: 209 Crawford Glen

It may not be a luxury home but it's a spacious, 4bed/4.5bath, 3700 sq ft new construction fully-upgraded home in Greenville, SC (where we flew into from Newark) in a beautiful, wooded neighborhood within walking distance of the local town. It's going for $529,000. That hurts. Our apartment would cost almost that much if it were for sale here!!

I'm sure I sounded like a pompous, out-of-touch jacka** when I said this but ---> When we got off the plane in SC, I saw a large sign with a listing for 36 acres of land with a 5 bedroom ranch on it for less than $500,000 and I said "OMG, hunny -- it's not even half a mil! "

I realize to someone living in SC, 500Gs is a serious life-long investment. It is to us, too...but when you've become accustomed to the overpriced living of NY, it seems like SUCH a great deal.

I don't ever want to become one of those women who takes money for granted. I don't think I ever could. I know how hard Travis works so that I can stay home and I know the state of economy could take away our lifestyle at any given moment.

But is it too much to ask for a house? With a lawn? In the 'burbs? Evidently it is if we plan on living in the tri-state within commuting distance. Even Westchester is flaunting Manhattan prices these days.

I'm signing off for the night...if you need me, I'll be devising a shelf and pulley system so we can utilize our ceiling space for additional storage.

Sleeping Through the Night

Trav, as most of you know, is rarely home. He works long, stressful hours and in turn so do I.

I'm used to being the sole caretaker of Hunter during the week.

I do his morning routine, eating schedules, afternoon routine, nap schedules, bedtime routine, overnight shift, and all in between. :)

It's a lot of work but you learn to schedule as best as possible and expect the unexpected.

Typically, Hunter will go to sleep somewhere between 9:30-10pm. It's not exact b/c he puts himself to sleep...I put him down at 9:30, though.

He'll wake up anywhere between 6-7am for a bottle then go back down until 9:30am.

Since he's been teething this past week (#11 just showed up -- yikes! ouchy bites!!) he's had a hard time sleeping through the night.

I have had to go in at least once in between bedtime at 10pm and bottle at 6-7am to put him back to sleep.

This has occurred 3 days in a row.

However, when Travis sees how exhausted I am, he offers to take the night shift. When Trav takes the shift, Hunter sleeps through the night.

I wondered how Hunter knew his Papa was on-call until I realized that Trav doesn't have Mommy Sonar. *Mommy Sonar is our instinct to jump out of bed seconds before our baby makes a night-noise that sounds like waking.*

So when Hunter makes his noises and wakes up, Trav sleeps through them (or practices what I like to call the Papa Neglect tactic which isn't real neglect except in the eyes of the mother) and Hunter puts himself back to sleep.

Mystery solved.

Now if only I could bring myself to practice this strategy, I may actually get some sleep! ;)

I Was a Really Good Mom before I Had Kids

I decided after Hunter was 3 months old that I'd get back to reading every night before bed. By that time, I had mastered a bedtime routine (or so I thought) and was ready to get my ownroutine back in motion.

More than anything, I wanted to have 15-20 minutes of down-time in between putting the little man to sleep and trying to put myself to sleep. I noticed that, even at my most exhausted, I was too wired from being non-stop all day to relax enough to sleep at night.

My favorite before-bed past-time has always been reading a chapter or two of my current book before closing my eyes and drifting off to dreamland. I made it my mission to start this up again and I'm happy to report I succeeded.

That being said, my book list has changed since I've become a Mom. I still read my femme novels, my historic biographies, and my monthly subscriptions but I've added parenting booksand books that make fun of parenting books to the mix. I'm torn between wanting to know everything out there (so I can make an educated, informed decision about child-rearing) and knowing that no matter how much I read it's all going to come down to what I feel in my heart versus what a well-published doctor has convinced me to do.

Regardless, I read it all. I have the Super Nanny's books, the Shalom in the Home rabbi's books, the Baby Whisperer, the What to Expect series, the Baby Signs, the Raise a Smarter Child by..., the Bringing up Geeks, the Happiest Baby books, I could go on. Like. Forever.

I have run out of bookshelves and I've started stacking my books to make forts for Hunter to play in.

Reading about parenting and ways to laugh at parenting has made me realize that we all want the answers and there are no "right" ways to parent our children. It's also made me realize that I really want to get back to reading about summer romances in the Hamptons and Princesses from forgotten Chinese Dynasties.

When I read about parenting before bed, my dreams are clouded with reality. Ugh! Who wants to dream about our actual lives?

I've also learned something else. I need some of these parenting books to help me feel normal in my quest to want to be the best Mommy I can be. The book I read most recently (see blog title and click link) had three statements as an intro to the first chapter that were SO "me" it scared me:

- You dread the question "What did you do all day?"

- You consider a trip to the dentist your special "alone time".

- Reading before bed feels like a luxury.

Oh. My. Gosh. It's like this author is reading this blog.

The fact is, there are many moms just like me out there. Knowing that makes me feel a little less alone and a lot more validated.

Comparison is the killer of Contentment

I've said it before --- I consider myself very fortunate. Here I am, a new Mom, in what is possibly one of the best places to live as a young parent. Every time I stroll along the Promenade I meet new Mommies and see familiar friends and neighbors.

It brings me back to the original intention of this Mommy Group. When Susie and I met, it was out of a need for companionship. We found true friends in each other and thus the group grew.

We went from a "wee" group of 2 in early September to a group of 25 in exactly one year!

My intentions for finding and belonging to a Mommy Group were to be supported and accepted by other parents...to be a friend and neighbor, a confidante and advocate...to help others feel like they are not alone in their quest for the best childcare in the area or the most effective toy-cleaning methods...to be amongst friends who cared for my son and I could count on if I had to leave him in case of an emergency...to be relied on as someone who would listen to the incessant venting about poopy diapers and absent fathers...I could go on forever here. So I'll stop.

Mainly, I wanted to find a group of parents who were not judgmental or competitive and who applauded Hunter's accomplishments instead rating how far along he was developmentally.

I think that I've found that group in us and I just wanted to Thank You all for being supporting roles in Hunter's life.

By the way, if anyone does become competitive -- please know that I'll be the first person to call you out on it. ;) A great book about this is "Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay". Check it out! :)

Might as Well Face it, I'm Addicted...

...To Boots!!

I can not tell you how many pairs I own.

Mainly because I don't think I can count that high. *Anyone with me here? Has talking baby-talk the past 7 months dumbed me down?*

I think my addiction stems from my Florida Habit ---> bikinis. I own over 60 of them.

Granted, I wore them year-round down there. Now I have two under-the-bed storage containers FULL of bathing suits. I refuse to get rid of them. One day I may make a quilt. A scratchy, sequiny quilt. One that would be water-proof and stringy.

So I've moved on to something I could never wear in Florida ---> boots.

I love 'em.

I find myself checking all the fashion blogs for new "releases".

My addiction, lucky for Trav, does not necessarily include purchasing...it's more having to know every style offered.

(In case there is a boot pop quiz one day or if someone asks me where they can find the latest ankle-bootie by Minnetonka. I will know where to send them. I won't let them down!)

So my Boot Quest has led me down a dark path -- down a path of never-ending Uggs and Emus that look ugly and feel comfy...

down a path of tattooed suede a la Heart and Soul or Ed Hardy...

down this season's trend of studs, fringe, and biker buckles...

and it has led me here:

Giuseppe Zanotti

HOTTTTTT booties!

On sale for $1195.00!

4" MIRRORED heels, ladies!

Lace-up!

Suede and patent leather, of course!

And I wonder to myself, "WHO wears these?" Not just "Who spends this much money on something ridiculously trendy?" but "WHO wears these?" Seriously.

A mirrored heel? The only person who would need a mirror on their heel would be someone who can put their ankle up to their face to touch up their lipstick. So many thoughts come to my mind when I look at these dead-sexy but outrageous boots.

The last thought I had was this -- since when did I start judging people on their shoes? Am I already that PTA mom? Can a woman not wear sex-pot shoes without me assuming she is what she wears? When will this transformation "from me to Mom" end? Save yourselves. I fear it's too late for me...

I was THISCLOSE to buying Crocs.

Feeling Maternal, Amused, and Fortunate

Maternal:

Today our sitter came for a few hours so I could take "off" and run errands. Not fun errands but errands without a baby, nonetheless.

I had on my "uniform" which consists of a patterned cotton blend dress (easy to launder at home, dark colors that don't show spit-up or pureed carrots, partially hides my post-preg tummy, appears like I am making an effort) and my FitFlops (that I wear b/c they are comfy and also everyone assumes I am trying to "tone" my legs which makes me feel less lazy).

My hair was in a pony tail (because Hunter pulls it all out if it's down) mainly because I really need to get it colored and cut but haven't had a chance.

I was excited to have my hands free for the first time all week, so I was drumming on my steering wheel with my windows down, singing along to my CD player.

At a stoplight, I looked over to the car next to me b/c I felt a pair of eyes watching me. You know when you just get that strange feeling? It was a young guy, probably 19, getting a kick out of the "concert" I was putting on.

It was at that moment that I realized I was blasting ABBA's Greatest Hits and singing "Lay All Your Love on Me" as though I was the lead role in Mamma Mia.

And then it hit me.

I'm. A. Mom.

Not just Hunter's Mommy...

I am an actual MOM!!

The kind who wears their hair back with predictable comfy clothes and shoes and listens to music that the younger generations wouldn't even know if they weren't in current movies.

(It's like when I saw "I am Sam" for the first time and LOVED the soundtrack and my parents were like "Duh! Welcome to The Beatles.")

So let's face it, kids...I never thought I'd be one but here I am less than 7 months in and already eagerly singing show tunes in the car on the way to the grocery store.

Watch out, Mom-Jeans, I will find you and wear you!

**On a side note, on the way to Boston last weekend we saw a son and his Mom driving to college with a dorm-room packed car and a UCONN bumper sticker in the back window. I totally LOST it and sobbed to Travis "Our little boy is going to leave us!" When did this happen? Trav's worried b/c Hunter hasn't even started Daycare, let alone Preschool, K-5, Junior High, or High School...College seems so far away until you see it driving next to you.

Amused:

Tonight I ran into a good Mommy friend on the Promenade. She introduced me to her husband as an organized (not!) Super Mom. It made me laugh b/c anyone who knows me well can tell you otherwise. It also made me remember this email I sent out to a girlfriend a few weeks ago...

"So I've finally given up...I'll admit it. I am not, nor will I ever be, Wonder Woman.

I wish I was.

She has that cool invisible helicopter and arm cuffs...we all know how much I love arm cuffs!! :)

But the fact of the matter is, you can't paint and redecorate a bathroom in 3 hours unless you are on a TLC show with helpers.So my new and improved Kiddie Bathroom is not yet new and improved. Although it will be by Friday if you'd like to come take a looksy.

I'm not Wonder Woman...and sometimes I think I am because sometimes Travis thinks I am...but that's no fun...because when he thinks I am, he expects me to be and that is just too much pressure. ;)

Besides, the best part of being Wonder Woman is the element of surprise...and if I say "Surprise! I painted the bathroom, cooked dinner, taught Hunter his alphabet, and organized a Baby Shower" and Trav says "What did you do the rest of the day?" then I am just an adult in a cape and arm cuffs.

Anyways if you are wondering what this off the wall email is about, it's an apology. Sorry I wasn't myself tonight. I was dealing with the disappointment of reality --- well, that and I inhaled fumes for about 3 hours straight and my virginal (to drugs) body went haywire. ha ha

I'm off to make sure a munchkin is sleeping and install a bubble blowing frog in his tub. Goodnight!"

Fortunate:

And speaking of the Promenade, how lucky are we to be able to walk along the Hudson (ick) River with a breath-taking view of the city every day and night? My favorite time of day is dusk...the sun has set and the buildings reflect gold in their windows. SOOOO pretty!! But best-of-all is the Ben and Jerry's along the walk. No, not really. Best-of-all is that I can go on a walk with Hunter and run into familiar faces and friends all along the way. We have suc

h a great community here and our Mommy support system is better than I ever imagined it could be. Thanks for being there for me and Hunter. :) Here's a pic from my iPhone tonight:

Hunter is watching the City Lights and kicking his foot against the stroller to try and knock my water bottle out so he can play with it. Little Monkey!

MONDAY, AUGUST 25

True Friends

This weekend's trip to Boston re-affirmed my feelings about what true friends are...not to get sappy on you but I feel the need to share.

True friends invite you on trips that could be easier without the added challenge of a second baby's schedule in the mix.

True friends are enthusiastic about your arrival even when you're venting about the 7-hour drive with traffic on the way there.

True friends allow you to feel comfortable being your real self...so you can be frustrated with your spouse for being late, excited by the Arctic Seal exhibit at the Aquarium, or exhausted when your baby cries through breakfast and they understand.

True friends celebrate each other's baby's accomplishments rather than compete by comparing who nursed longer, which baby walked first, etc.

True friends contribute to conversations, voice their opinions, guide you through new experiences, and are there to listen.

True friends make the most of any situation because when you're a new parent, you learn to take full advantage of the time you are given with each other.

We're lucky to have found such true friends in our neighborhood. Thank you to our friendly fellow West New York Mommas & Poppas. :)